On Friday, October 30, around noon, there were a total of 15 upper school students in the building.  The rest?  They were at the Phillies parade.  From my office, I could watch a sea of people clad in red, jubilantly walking toward Broad Street.  I was struck by the genuine sense of joy that everyone felt.  This win seemed to connect people.  Strangers suddenly became best friends.   Later that night, when I (finally) got home, I walked around my neighborhood with my four-year-old son for Halloween.  The overarching sense of happiness persisted and I was reminded about the power of happiness and how critical it is to learning. 
   
School can cause a lot of stress for students.  There is a tremendous amount of work to do at a high level in a finite amount of time.  Clearly, too much stress diminishes learning.  Initially, when educators looked at the problem of stress, they did not concentrate as much on the benefits of happiness.  More recently, however, University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman has asked, “What are the enabling conditions that make human beings flourish?”   His research defines three components of happiness:  pleasure, engagement, and meaning.  In his book, The Geography of Bliss, Eric Weiner notes that Americans struggle with the notion of happiness because they are always looking forward instead of being present.  He argues for greater emphasis on the here-and-now in order to optimize personal well-being. 

Admittedly, the notion of what makes people happy is highly subjective, but being happy, coupled with an optimistic perspective, certainly “sets the stage” for learning.  Moreover, research has shown that being connected to other people inevitably leads to greater happiness.  In sum, research suggests that being happy, connected, and optimistic is good on many levels and helps students take full advantage of learning opportunities at school.

There is no way that Friends Select can be a stress free zone – and no way to insulate adolescents from the inherent stresses of the teen years.  But this school is a place where students seem happy.  Part of that comes from the school’s Quaker heritage that encourages celebrating students for who they are and teaching them to express themselves clearly to others.  Also, Friends Select students are actively involved in making Friends Select their own, which, in turn keeps them more engaged with their school work.  For example, a group of 11th grade students are setting up a fundraising event around the foosball game in their hallway.  Another example is the club, Connections, where students get together to explore how they, as individuals, can strengthen the community on a daily basis. 
   
As parents, letting your kids be happy is important.  While we as adults may feel pressured by any number of things (the economic climate and the shared stresses of college applications come immediately to mind), we cannot let those things get in the way of our children’s happiness.  I am not suggesting shielding students from the realities of the world, but I am suggesting that we might celebrate the joyful moments more than the negative ones.   When there is a problem, we can focus on collaboratively coming up with positive solutions.  The goal is to teach students to remain optimistic as they face challenges.  An important step toward that goal is recognizing and grabbing opportunities for happiness.  The Phillies did us all a favor.  Their World Series triumph reminded us of the importance of celebrating success and the sheer fun of being happy together. 

Jesse Dougherty, upper school director