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| When middle school director Ed Rhee and his wife welcomed their first baby this spring, I offered to teach the Prima Lingua class during his paternity leave. I guest-taught this course two years ago and found the experience delightful. I was glad for another chance to experience life in the middle school firsthand and to get to know a new group of students. For the uninitiated, Prima Lingua (which translates as “first language”) is a course on the structure and origin of languages. The class, which includes some Latin and Spanish instruction, helps familiarize students with key grammatical concepts that English shares with other languages and compares these structures. It also introduces unfamiliar grammatical elements that students will encounter in the formal study of world languages. Ed had already covered much of the syllabus, so I decided to forgo the textbook and create my own lesson plan. “You don’t have to take notes or open your book while I’m here,” I told the class. “Let’s just explore language together.” We spent one day building words, discovering how much the students already knew. Using the suffix “cide” (kill), they came up with some of the expected ghoulish words (genocide, matricide and patricide), as well as some unexpected terms, including regicide (to kill a king). We did the same exercise using “centric.” Another day, I taught them how to pull apart words to decipher their meaning, using “vor” (to eat) as an example. They already knew the “what” of omnivore, herbivore and carnivore and now learned the “why.” How does knowing the root help one figure out the meaning of a word? The students and I agreed it was a useful skill indeed. Teaching Prima Lingua reinforced several things for me: First: Sixth graders are a lot of fun. They were respectful of one another and more cooperative than competitive. Their default approach to learning was to have as much fun as possible. They appeared to enjoy the analysis and deconstruction of language that is at the heart of the Prima Lingua program. And they were unfazed by having a new person in charge of their class. Second: Embracing flexibility and being willing to take occasional detours from the curriculum can lead to surprising and terrific learning opportunities. This is something that happens frequently at Friends Select and is a key strength of our program. Another recent example comes from Karen Cohen’s fifth grade students and their year-long study of Egypt. At the suggestion of student teacher Jessica Fazzie, the students wrote to Dr. Zahi Hawass, the renowned Egyptian archaeologist and the current secretary general of the Egyptian Supreme Council of Antiquities. Dr. Hawass responded, posting their letters on his Web site and arranging for the class to be the only school group to preview the Cleopatra exhibit at the Franklin Institute before it opens to the public on June 5. Friends Select teachers are constantly finding imaginative and challenging ways to extend learning beyond the textbook and classroom. It was a pleasure to step away from my usual responsibilities, even for a brief time, and to share that excitement firsthand.
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| The last day of school is a 5-year-old boy holding tight to his pre-kindergarten teacher with one hand, while leaning toward his waiting mother in the car line. The summer is an abstraction filled with happy possibilities that stretch endlessly into the future. He will miss his classmates and the big wooden trucks, but he does not know that yet.
The last day of school is a 6-year-old girl feeling alternately sad and excited about the change in routine that is about to begin. She chatters excitedly with her friends about the games they play with the big foam blocks and costumes from the dress-up corner. As she takes her father’s hand to leave, she looks back over her shoulder with some trepidation.
The last day of school is a parent feeling happy about the sunshine, proud of his or her child’s accomplishments this year, a little anxious about summer plans, but happily anticipating the upcoming family vacation and a chance to really relax. This year has been an important step in the family’s journey from who they are to who they hope to be.
I have had many last days of school. When I stopped having them as a student, I started having them as a teacher. My first last day as a teacher dawned on a June morning in 1984 at the Crossroads School where my daily regimen was to pick up the students who arrived by train in the school van, teach for one period in each of several different classes, supervise lunch and recess, teach some more, then return the railroad commuters to the station. I learned a great deal confronting the challenges of that first year of teaching.
A little more than a decade ago, I began having last days of school as a parent. I have two sons: Matthew, age 12, and Alex, age 20. But no matter how many last days of school I have had, they never lose their power.
This month, I am embracing a very special last day of school, my last as director of lower school at Friends Select. During the past six years, I have gotten to know many students, parents, teachers, staff, administrators and board members. I have been impressed with the thoughtfulness, intelligence and commitment of these individuals to our school. I have been warmly and enthusiastically embraced by this community. Thank you.
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As I write this, I am just back from the eighth grade New Mexico trip and feeling particularly good about who our students are out in the world.
One of many “moments”:
When we climbed down a cliff face at Chaco Canyon via steep wooden stairs, Teacher John was the last person to make the descent, lugging a knapsack filled with student journals. One of our students noticed that carrying extra weight made the maneuver a little tricky and offered to climb back up the cliff and take his bag.
We had a fantastic time, including an emotional Meeting for Worship, where many of the kids spoke about how much they mean to each other.
I have worked in middle school for quite a few years, first as a teacher, then as dean and most recently, as division director. And, for the past two years, I’ve added “mother of a middle school student” to my job description. Having the dual perspective of parent and educator has been informative, making each of my roles richer. Some of my recent learning:
- The “average” nightly homework for a seventh grader is 2 to 2.5 hours, but I don’t have an “average” child. Some nights, there really is very little, and some nights my son seems swamped.
- How much he ate for lunch at the beginning of sixth grade is no indicator of how much he will be eating by the end of seventh. I need to remember to keep enough money in his dining hall account and enough food in our home refrigerator.
- My son won’t tell me everything as readily as he did when he was younger. I have to keep my eyes and ears open, ask questions and occasionally look over his shoulder while he texts and facebooks.
- He may be taller than I am and speak with a deep voice, but my son can still be a little boy at times.
Parenting a middle school student has informed every aspect of my role as educator, making me more empathetic with both students and their parents. Most of all, perhaps, it has heightened my awareness of the influential role we play as adults in guiding adolescents -- and how important it is to stay “in the moment” through a sometimes challenging, frequently frustrating, always interesting and occasionally, purely joyous time in our children’s lives.
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| I recently read an article about the importance of summer for adolescents. It noted that students physically grow more in the summer because they are typically more in charge of their sleep patterns. Also, it noted that summer experiences are formative, if not essential, to development. So what should summer be for students? First and foremost, it should be about fun; having some time away from school is important. Secondly, your children should buy into it—they should be planning what it is that they want to do.
Friends Select teaches students to be good self-advocates. Summer experiences often help students understand who they are, which will lead to more thoughtful learning. There is no right answer for what to do over the summer, but here is a flavor of some of what will happen.
Some students will expand their academic horizons. Danielle (a junior), for example, will be part of the New Jersey Scholars' Program. She is one of only 39 finalists chosen this year to spend five weeks at The Lawrenceville School in an intensive inter-disciplinary exploration of human rights issues.
Other students have chosen traditional summer jobs. Eric, a senior, will spend his second summer as a day camp counselor in Haverford, which he describes as the perfect job: relatively lucrative, but with evenings and weekends free.
Yet others will travel abroad. Giovanni, another senior, will return to his native Italy for the annual summer visit, most likely with stops to see his siblings in London.
Years from now, these summers are likely to stand out in students’ memories. There will be the “summer I went to sailing camp,” the “summer I worked at WAWA,” the “summer I spent perfecting my foul shot” and so on. In retrospect, today’s students will realize how much these experiences helped shape and influence them – and what a gift it was to have three months to explore and grow.
What will I be doing this summer? Paradoxically, I just lost control of my sleep patterns when our third child was born last week. I will get away to see my extended family on the shores of Maine, where my children will get to play with their cousins (all nine of them) at the beach. It will be fun.
Also, I look forward to thinking about the next school year as we plan for a week-long InterSession Program between the first and second semesters, with a focus on international studies. It is a way to deepen the already rich experience of being a student at Friends Select School in new and different ways. I will enjoy planning for it.
A Note About Summer Reading:
This summer, upper school students will read both volumes of Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi. I invite parents to read these thought-provoking books as well. I anticipate that lively conversations will ensue around some of the themes, namely war in the Middle East, coming of age, political and military revolution and the role of women. The second volume contains mature themes that will be contextualized in school assemblies next fall. If any parent believes his or her child should not read volume two, please contact me at jessed@friends-select.org.
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