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Within an educational community, a new school year invites reflection about change. We develop institutional goals for the year, improve methods and refine programs. And, for many of us – students, teachers and parents – we look at opportunities for personal change as well. Such opportunities are indeed one of the many ways an independent school – and especially Friends Select – provides value to families.
Some parents express concern about excess in their lives. Excess that strikes at our economy, erodes the natural environment, invites extravagant consumption, and approaches our children through e-networks, questionable popular culture, and even obesity. Some parents look to community institutions, such as schools, to be countercultural and to maintain a direction toward “true north” – a state of embracing simplicity in the face of excess.
At Friends Select, we invite children and their families to create change in their personal lives, to be other-focused (rather than self-focused), to practice simplicity about possessions, to respect the environment, and to exercise good decision-making about or on the Internet. We invite children and families, oddly enough, to engage in revolution, as an antidote to excess. We move toward the true north of simplicity, and hence toward sustainable habits of mind and engagement, one child at a time.
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Over the summer, I met with the good people at school to think about how we do things, to examine traditions, and to consider some revisions. This is always a helpful exercise, but even more so when one is joining a community. It has been fascinating to meet my new colleagues, a wonderful group of educators who contribute to school life in many meaningful ways, both inside and outside the classroom.
As I settle into life in Center City, I’ve been able to casually observe parents and children interacting in different ways: Parents quietly enjoying the small world that is their young child and sometimes guiding the child through tricky moments in the day – on the playground, at a restaurant, with a sibling. These scenarios are always interesting to observe, as I’ve lived many of those family moments myself. With each situation, there is care and understanding, and it is clear that parents are seeking the best for their children. Similarly, here at school, students are surrounded by caring, understanding adults who have their best interests in mind.
Much of lower school life for students is about learning to be part of a group— understanding context, expectations and relationships in a growing community. Teachers at Friends Select work hard to meet students where they are and attend to their individual needs, while balancing the needs of the larger group. They help students explore, interpret and think critically and creatively, while always being mindful of Quaker values. They create experiences that build academic skills, help students to transfer knowledge from one area to another and encourage habits of mind for life-long learning.
As the school year begins, there are many new, exciting and meaningful experiences ahead. “Go Brown and Gold!” For now, we have the anticipation of starting school fresh from summer fun, relaxation and reflection. I look forward to our getting to know each other better and to working together in this important endeavor called school. Please be in touch with me or assistant director Amy Segel, should you have the need.
Remember: Back-to-School Night is on Tuesday, September 21; our first Lower School Director coffee is on Friday, September 24; and the first Parent Association meeting is on Tuesday, September 28. I look forward to seeing you at all of these events.
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As summer winds down, it’s time to start thinking about preparing for the first day of school on Wednesday, September 8. Here are a few ideas on how you can help your middle school student get the year off to a good start:
- Institute a regular bedtime a few weeks before school starts. (I suggest no later than 10 p.m.)
- If your child will be commuting to school via train or bus for the first time, practice the trip together a few days before the first day of school.
- Establish a regular public place to do homework, such as the dining room table.
- Put the family computer in a public place in the house and/or keep an eye on when and where your child is using a laptop. (Computers are too big a distraction in bedrooms.)
- Set a distraction level threshold; for example, music is okay, but texting is not.
- Consider reading some of the fiction your child is assigned. It can be a great topic of conversation and help your child with comprehension.
- Help your child develop organization habits, such as packing his or her backpack the night before school.
- Let your child know that you’ll want to see the assignment book each night before homework gets started.
And a little more food for thought:
- Be savvy about middle school students’ use of social media.
- Keep electronic devices out of their bedrooms.
- Talk to them about whom they connect with on-line.
- Let them know that you’ll be looking over their shoulders at their screen on a regular basis.
- Have them plug in their phone for recharging downstairs before they go to bed.
Partner with your student’s teachers.
- Come meet them at Back-to-School Night.
- Feel comfortable asking them questions via e-mail.
- Talk to me or Ed Rhee, dean of middle school, about concerns.
And when your student feels overwhelmed by a concept he or she just hasn’t understood, and you don’t understand it either…suggest that your child:
- Ask a friend, perhaps through FaceBook.
- E-mail the teacher.
- Take a five-minute break to regroup and then try again.
Remember, middle schoolers don’t always appreciate the things adults do to help them at the moment of need. But hang in there. They will appreciate you later.
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I wish I could be an upper school student at Friends Select this year. While I could do without being a teenager again, I like that this community is based on the notion of success. What does that mean, exactly? As educators, we want students to succeed and we help them to live up to their potentials. Faculty offer rigors classes, as well as personalized support. There is a wide range of activities, including plays, ensembles, sports, clubs, speakers, and interSession (more to come on this one soon).
Every day in upper school, I see engaged students who are excited about learning and glad to be at this school. In her graduation speech, Amanda Mauri ’10, shared her vision of what this school has meant to her. She spoke about why she came to Friends Select in eighth grade, explaining that “it was because of what I witnessed in the lunchroom.” For her, the way students treated each other as peers encouraged her to pick this school. She continued:
Friends Select has remained a strong welcoming community. It provided me a framework within which I was able to try new things, to grow, and to begin to figure out who I am. All of us in the class of 2010 took risks – academic, social, athletic, and in the performing arts, to name only a few. We tried giving a difficult presentation in a foreign language, hosting the talent show, trying out for the tennis team, or making a very silly yearbook video. We felt comfortable attempting new things because we knew that if we were not successful, our friends, our community, would be there for us to keep things in perspective.
Amanda’s perspective is remarkable. As expected, she graduated with a solid academic foundation, but with so much more as well. But what is equally noteworthy is how Friends Select allowed her to take risks and to gain perspective on those risks. Having engaging with all that the school had to offer, she now feels ready to engage with the world.
As a highlight for this year, the upper school is going to engage with the world in a new way. Between the first and second semesters, upper school students will take a break from their regular academic schedules to participate in InterSession, a weeklong immersion in the history, politics and culture of the Middle East region. The format of each day will vary, but students will end the week with a better sense of the world and how to ask essential questions. Details of the week will be announced shortly.
As a school, we continue to refine our program so that our students gain a larger world view, take risks, and learn. The notion of community and opportunities such as InterSession are just two reasons why I wistfully wish I could be a student again. Barring that, I am very glad to be directing the upper school again in 2010-2011.
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